First impressions are often lasting ones

You only have five to seven seconds to make a good impression on someone, says Jodi Smith, author of From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Man and From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman.

“You can’t underestimate the clues you’re giving about yourself. Human beings don’t like to change their minds so it’s better to go with a good first impression than to try to reverse a negative one,” Smith said. “The key is to understand that people make assumptions about us.”

First impressions come from physical appearance, body language, clothing, hair style, speech patterns and a handshake.  “You want to make sure you’re presenting yourself in the best possible light,” Smith added. “Clients will remember if your car is dirty, you’re missing an earring or you have buttons mis-buttoned. Unfortunately, people generalize competency based on observable behaviors.”

Smith started her company, Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, after working in human resources and noticing some “super bright people who weren’t as successful as they could be,” so she began teaching etiquette training for young employees.

She offers some general tips for making a great impression:

• Give a great handshake: If you’ve been on the receiving end of a bad handshake, like a dead fish, you know it makes an unfavorable impression. For a good handshake, hands should meet “web to web,” fingers close around the bottom of the hand. Apply enough pressure and one to three shakes. Many don’t realize that if you don’t have a good handshake, people will presume you can’t handle the job.
• Choose a wardrobe that works: Stay away from colors that don’t work with your skin tones. Black is a neutral color, browns and oranges are friendly, red is a power color, green reflects wealth and growth, yellow is happy, gold is more wealth and purple is royalty.  If you are larger, you need to dress better. And remember, a tailor is your best friend.
• Accessories are important: Make sure your hair is updated and your nails are clean. Glasses are a fashion accessory and nothing will date you faster than an old pair of glasses. Keep your car clean. And carry your business paperwork in an appropriate briefcase or portfolio.

“It’s harder today to get a second chance at a first impression,” Smith added. “Savvy business people know how to make their first impression work to their advantage.”

Smith’s website offers a searchable database for visitors to find resources on other etiquette topics. In addition, she responds directly to readers’ etiquette emergencies.